Sonstiges

Everyday I become a little bit more German.
From trying raw hamburger meat (called Mett), to FINALLY opening a beer bottle with a flashlight and a marker, I am beginning to shed my American skin.
Last week I spent on the North Sea on an island called Langeoog. It was a beautiful island, very isolated and tranquil. There were no cars on the island, so I got to make good use of my not so great bike riding skills! Overall the trip was very great, allowing me to see another part of Germany and meet many fantastic people.
Before vacation started I had a pretty eventful week of school. First I met another AFS student from Chile and helped him to find his way around the school. It really made me realize how far I have come in being able to communicate and find my way around since my first day of school. There is nothing I love more than helping people who I know could totally use the help in such a hard transition. The language thing was a bit of a struggle, me wrestling between Spanish and German and then just resorting to English. Overall I think it is very comforting to help other exchange students, which further convinces me of the idea of becoming an AFS Volunteer and a host sister when I go back to America.

Also at school, I recieved a 1+ in my gym class! It's good to know that I am excelling in at least one class I am taking. As for my other classes, learning the content is a very slow and agonizing process.

I did become a bit more involved last week as I went to my first swim practice. It was a great workout and reminded me of how much happiness I can find through endorphins. I am hoping to further pursue swimming in my year here.

After 2 months away from my doggy I have been very deprived of my daily dog cuddle time. Although nothing can compare to my wonderful Jilly, I did find a dog I could walk in the neighborhood. She is a Dachshund and is named Lucy :). I am very excited to have a real dog to spend time with. I also received a stuffed animal from my host family that looks just like Jilly, so that was a very thoughtful gesture.

As I talked to my wonderful, inspiring, mother she said, "This is a marathon not a sprint. You are at mile 2". As a short distance runner, it made me realize how much I rush things and how quickly I expect things to fall into place. I am not the kind of person who likes to take my time in doing things, or who likes to run more than 1 mile before being  done with it. But it is true, that all things fall into place with time. Now, not only am I taking my time with learning the language and figuring out my life here, but I am also trying to go for that marathon and not just the sprint--figuratively and literally. I run a bit farther everyday and someday I know I will be running that marathon.

PICTURES

The first attempt

The final victory

Lucy the dog I walk

Mossi and I on the beach in Langeoog

Langeoog Wasserturm 

Me titanicing with the German flag

Over-edited rainbow picture

Me and the Jilly look-alike <3

Metamorphosis

Exchange is metamorphosis. It's a constant change affecting you physically, mentally, and emotionally. It tears you down and tests your endurance, but never fails to build you back up. It brings you into an entirely new mindset.  And most of all, it is the change that transforms you into something entirely new.

Metamorphosis is no easy task. Just ask all the caterpillars out there, who dream of beautifully spanned wings and the experience of flight. Those caterpillars know that they aren't going to spontaneously transform into a beautiful butterfly. It takes hard-work, dedication, frustration, and preparation to be able to persist through various challenges and attain a new identity.

Back in America I was a caterpillar, anxiously awaiting my spontaneous transformation into a butterfly. I saw the pictures, heard the stories, but never FELT what this change would be like. I knew what I was and what I wanted in America, I was a confident young caterpillar.

But every little caterpillar must endure the pain, frustration, and loneliness that comes with the time in the cocoon. First of all you're upside down so that makes everything harder, plus everything inside of you is changing. Everything is different. Everything is difficult. Everything takes a lot more effort. But what a goal you have to become a butterfly. And that's what makes it all worth it.

Right now it is tough. There are days when my world is upside down, where nothing makes sense, and where I don't feel like I belong. There are times when I feel like I am stuck in between two identities, who I was and who I want to become. It's very hard to have to evaluate myself in such a way, thinking about what I want in life and who I am. Caterpillars surely do their fair share of thinking while in the cocoon.

But then things turn around. The physical changes will begin to transpire. I will dress like the others, do my hair like the others,  and speak like the others. As this happens I will begin to understand what life is like, the way people act, and my role in society. Lastly, my emotional changes will leave me feeling satisfied with who I have become and why all of the challenges made me what I am. That's why the exchange is worth it.

I can't wait to be a butterfly. But no butterfly becomes a butterfly without enduring metamorphosis.




Thank you to my 2nd, 3rd, and 4th grade teachers who drilled the idea of metamorphosis into my brain.  Creds to you.

One Month!

When 20 teenagers from different backgrounds, cultures, and languages can come together and bond over one uniting experience, you know it's true friendship. After AFS camp this weekend, I now have friends from China, Japan, Korea, Mexico, Chile, Turkey, Brazil, Canada, and Portugal.

Every exchange student was so friendly and it was great to know that so many people are having the same experience that I am. We are all familiar with the frustrating moments, the confusing moments, the lonely moments and the exciting moments, and that's how we bonded. With very few people in my daily life who actually understand what exchange life is like, it was refreshing to meet other teens who could really relate to the things exchange students go through. I found that exchange life is all about surprises, frustration, and frequently changing emotions. 

It made me proud and sad at the same time to realize that I have been here for an entire month today! It has felt like forever, but to think I only have 9 months left is already so sad. I realized how important every day here is, and how I have to make the most of my time here. I can't let something bad ruin my day because one bad day, is one less that could have been filled with happiness. All of the exchange students inspired me to keep doing what I love and I realized that through this experience we will all grow up. The people running the camp were my age, but I admired how much they knew about themselves and all they knew about the world. I can't wait until I can be an AFS USA volunteer as well! 

Everyday here I meet a new challenge, I meet new people, and I learn more about myself. And that's all I could ask from this exchange. I am going to stay optimistic when things get bad because I know I can do it. I know every one of us can do it. Whether you are from Portugal or Turkey or Japan, everyday presents the opportunity for you to shape the world and shape yourself.