A Little Bit of Appreciation for AFS

Tonight's post is a much needed appreciation post for AFS.

Nearly 2 years after my year abroad in Germany, I still consider my AFS experience and the connections I've made through the organization to be a major part of my life. Despite these feelings, it's often easy to get caught up in my daily university life, distracting me and separating me from an experience that I hold very closely to my heart.

I have an unending amount of appreciation for the programs and opportunities that I have taken part in through AFS Intercultural Programs. After participating in a year abroad, hosting an exchange student, volunteering with local students, and promoting outreach initiatives, I have become very familiar with the many facets of AFS as an organization. The amount of tolerance and persistence one must have to work in any or all of these sectors is incredible and I would like to thank all of the people who have participated in any of these roles. AFS volunteers, families, and students make up a unique group of people, all of whom have confronted cultural and linguistic barriers with one another. What makes AFS so unique, is that it provides a platform for discussion, a "safe space" so to say, to allow us to break down the stereotypes and biases that divide us. AFS provides the guidance and atmosphere needed to engage in cultural discussions without judgement. It is through these interpersonal connections that AFS continues to have a lasting impact on so many people's lives.

In no other international setting have I felt as comfortable in engaging in very difficult dialogue about culture, politics, religion, race, and the stereotypes surrounding these subjects. That has become invaluable to me.

Although my year abroad is often what I most closely associate with my AFS experience, I am beginning to learn that my extended participation in other realms of the organization have deepened my love and understanding for the AFS mission. My year abroad was my first exposure to AFS, apart from my mother's stories about her AFS summer abroad in 1983. As I prepare for my summer internship at the AFS headquarters in New York, I am excited to get involved on the highest and most influential level at which the organization operates. I am very honored to be able to work at the highest level of such a far-reaching organization. My hope is that I can find fulfillment and meaning in my work with AFS this summer, that will further deepen my appreciation and love for AFS.

I may be tired and my thoughts may be scattered, but this post was a necessary love letter to the organization that changed my life. Thank you AFS for exposing me to various cultures, linking me with hundreds of international contacts, nurturing me with families around the world, and sparking my  interest in youth education through exchange programs. Most of all, thank you for being my platform to the world.

A Book:

The beginning of the year was an open book. Blank, unwritten, untouched. It was an experience built up in my mind, a fantasy painted by my imagination, void of the reality and hardships I was going to endure. The dreams flourished in my mind, yet the experience itself had not yet taken place. I glorified the piece of prose I hadn't begun to compose. 

My time abroad was a rush. My mind flourished with ideas, yet I was constantly caught up in the experiences. There was very little time to analyze my emotions, be grateful for everything I had there, or step back to look at the work as a whole. I was impulsive and frenzied, and made quick decisions based on my current state of mind. I was a writer, caught up in the process of creating, editing and perfecting the person I wanted to be. I indulged in the experiences and greeted strangers with a smile, rarely taking the time to understand their significance in my story. I was an author, living the experiences that would become the inspiration for a literary masterpiece. 

Now the book is written, but I still linger on the last page. This book is a part of me. It has defined me as a writer, as a human being. Flipping back through the pages I see flashes of my transformation and I am proud of the work I have composed.  But I am scared. I don't want that girl to be a fictional character confined to the pages of this book. I promise myself she won't be. 

This book is an artifact of my existence. Though I may be done writing it, I continue to analyze my experiences and the characters of my story, appreciating the way they impacted me. That's the thing about good literature-- it lives on.

My College Essay

I wrote my college essay about Berlin and I just thought I'd like to share it. I think it most accurately describes the person I was in Germany and why I miss her so much. 

Berlin is where the hipsters crawl. It's where grunge, rebellion, and artistic expression breed, where all the kids who want to screw over their parents go to run away. Berlin’s raw yet whimsical attitude lures me in, the colors diffused in its concrete veins, its history hiding in its world war scars.

For a girl who is usually most comfortable in a pink sundress and strappy sandals, a leather jacket and studded boots are a new discovery for me. Wearing all black, I feel rough and inconspicuous as I strut the city streets. Scrolling through my 8tracks playlists, I skip over usual favorites like John Mayer and Bon Iver, feeling more in tune with some trippy techno beats. I am building a new identity, creating the independent, self-confident person I’ve always strived to be.

Right before I head down the stairs to my U-Bahn platform, I pop into Starbucks, a place I go occasionally to remind myself of my American roots. I pay way too much for a tea I could have made myself, but I am happy to sip on a little taste of home. Though it may be a monotonous, life-long routine for Berliners, I still find a thrill in riding the subway, proud of the independence I’ve gained in Germany. I sit on the U-Bahn, earbuds in, noticing the street fashion become more and more eccentric as the train nears Berlin’s center. Now I’m glad I wore the leather jacket and studded boots.

I find the group pretty easily, considering the loud chatter and laughter amplifying from our meeting place at the station’s Burger King. I am greeted by my twenty international friends with the usual AFS welcome; hugs, kisses on the cheeks and endless “Wasssss geht Jenna?” My friends from Mexico, Bosnia, and Hong Kong and I shift from Spanish to English to German, speaking in a tangled mess of languages. We decide to venture out into city’s veins, its pulse infusing us with adrenaline.

Deeper and deeper we explore until we reach the city’s heart. Alexanderplatz bustles with throngs of people, yet one young street performer captures our attention. I am mesmerized by his fingers sliding, pulling off, and hammering onto the steel strings of the guitar, envious of the intricate guitar skills I would never have despite years of playing. His pedal loops various guitar parts, composing a harmony of overlapping sounds, which transforms into a familiar tune.

“Well you only need the light when it’s burning low” he sings, my friends and I soon chiming in,  “only miss the sun when it starts to snow, only know you love her when you let her go.” We flare with blissful feelings, singing until our voices crack, smiling until our cheeks hurt. Venezuela on my left, Spain on my right, I have the people I care about the most, though we’d met only two weeks earlier. I feel the pulse of Berlin surging through my veins, a warm euphoria taking over my body. Berlin’s expression harmonizes with mine, uncovering an intimacy with myself that I’d never felt before.

The song lyrics strike me with an unusual amount of force, reminding me that appreciation is often found in something’s absence. I don’t let that moment go. I clutch it in my fist and sear it to my heart, because I don’t want to let go of the girl in the leather jacket and the studded boots. I don’t want to let go of the city that introduced me to the world.

ExCHANGE

"Schließen unsere Augen und schon wieder ist ein Jahr um"

"Close our eyes and a year has already passed"-CRO

It's true that in the blink of an eye your whole life can transform before you. Looking back on who I was a year ago and who I have become today really makes me realize that every day shaped the person I became. I definitely think that every experience, good and bad, has been decisive in affecting the choices I make for the future. 

Going on exchange was definitely the hardest thing I have done in my life. I am also convinced that it will be the hardest thing I will ever do in my life. I learned that our lives give us chances to create our characters, to build ourselves up. 

Exchange is everything I signed up for. It's nothing I expected. 

Great Expectations

I think that the main reason why I have been avoiding my blog is because I don't want to have to admit that my exchange year is almost over. One year ago I wrote about my hopes and dreams and expectations for this year. Now, after experiencing hardships, euphoria, frustration, and transformation, I realize that all of those expectations were accurately inaccurate.
In the summer before I came to Germany, I obsessively tried to imagine the situations I would encounter this year. Based on stories from returnees, I imagined myself living this new life, in a new house, making new friends, learning a new language, and being a new person. But, no matter how hard I thought, or how far my imagination wandered, I could never have been prepared for the reality of exchange. Now, all of these expectations, hopes, and dreams have transformed into memories, people, photos, and a new personality.

It's so strange to be at the end of this experience and reflect on what I've learned from it. I would say that it has "fulfilled my expectations", but I don't think my original expectations can even compare to reality. What I can say, is that everything I have gone through has been completely worth it. I am so happy to have had the opportunity to do something so daring, vulnerable, and life-altering in my life.

Souvenirs

I used to imagine what it would be like to be fluent in a language. I used to have little conversations in my head, trying to think only in German without a single English word. The interesting thing is, I can't undo knowledge, and now I don't have to imagine being fluent. I just am.

It's really quite a concept to think about. Everything I have learned and experienced here in Germany is something that can't be taken away from me. I can bring Birkenstocks, Veltins beer, fashionable European clothes, and thousands of photos in my suitcase on the way home. But none of the things I have really learned from Germany and from my exchange can be packed into a suitcase. The things that are truly important reside in my brain. 

My change in character, my experience in a different culture, my ability to turn strangers into friends, and my knowledge of a foreign language, are all priceless souvenirs that I will never lose. That's why I think exchange is so special. It gives you the gifts that will last a lifetime. 

#cultured

After my experience this weekend, I think I can fairly say that I am "cultured"on German standards. 

On Saturday I was invited to a Borussia Dortmund soccer game, which was absolutely incredible. I have never seen a city so passionate about their sports team (and coming from Boston that says a lot). There was so much energy, support, and "Echte Liebe" that radiated through the stadium. I can honestly say that this was the first sporting event that I have actually watched entirely and paid attention to. It goes without saying that BVB won the game 3-0 against Nürnberg and now holds 2nd place in the Bundesliga. There's nothing like German Fußball. 

On Sunday and Monday "ging es richtig ab"( the party really started). Sunday I spent the night in a hostel with 30 AFS students along with our wonderful counselors. I met even more AFS students from the area, and we got ready for the real party on "Rosenmontag". 

Rosenmontag is the peak of carnival, a festival which is celebrated around the world in Catholic areas. It celebrates the time before lent, when everything becomes serious and solemn for Catholics.  In Germany the Rhineland is the more Catholic region, and its center, Cologne. 

Cologne celebrates carnival like no other German city. One million people crowd the streets of Cologne  every year to experience the parade of a lifetime. Everyone is dressed in ridiculous costumes, even more ridiculous than those seen on Halloween in America (pictures to follow). People drink in the streets, catch "Kamelle"(candy) from the parade floats, and scream "ALAAF"at every chance they get. 

Although I am trying to explain carnival in Cologne, I don't think I can do it justice. It's an experience that speaks for itself, one of which I am so happy to have experienced. 

I am so happy I have seen so many parts of Germany and all of the cultural events that I've heard about for years at Waldsee. The only words to describe it are, "Kamelle", "Alaaf", und "Prost!"

Der Umzug

Die volle Straße

All of our crazy costumes

BVB Spiel

Beim Rhein